I have learned a lot about life and love and relating and my own self the last 2 years. I feel at times I have been catapulted face first into the personal growth and healing and learning of 10 years in just 2. Sure, its been a lot. And people with “a lot” just have […]
Category: thoughts and feels
identity
When do you stop being a widow, …or can you? There have been many moments throughout this walk as Shayne’s widow I don’t have all the right words or phrases or even authenticity locked and loaded. I have struggled with finding the words for my emotions. The words don’t always match the weight of what […]
lift and carry
Its been 2.5 years ago today. I’m trying to focus on… not the day, but instead, what positive changes… growth… leaps… bigness I have stepped into since. The progress. Instead of focusing and rewinding myself right back to those moments 2.5 years ago…. What beauty have I created in the space he no longer occupies? […]
one
A terrible, toxic liar tried to hold me hostage. Until today. Day one. I don’t want to hide from this space. That wasn’t why I created it. I didn’t create it to back away when things were good bad or ugly. I never knew how ugly they could possibly get but I keep reminding myself… […]
&
I really don’t know if I would even want to, I wouldn’t want to spoil any of this and really, wouldn’t have wanted any of this to happen any differently… but if I had to. If I had to tell my newly-widowed self one thing. One thing that might help turn a corner faster. Or, […]
clearing
I felt like this needed to find its way out. No more shame, no guilt. I don’t go to therapy to bitch and complain. I go to therapy so that tiny voice in my head that has wanted me to give up, just give it all up already, and is so tired of the strife […]
permission
Do you recognize when you’re in a “season”? When you’re in either the ebb or the flow of things? Lately, I’m thinkin’ this has definitely been a season of surrender. Surrender and permission. I don’t know, I think thats what widows have to do. On our own timelines, surrender to reality, and give ourselves permission […]
love letter
I recently had the opportunity to participate in a Life Empowerment Workshop, led by the inspiring and steady as a beating drum Sid McNairy. It was suggested we write a love letter to a person who we defined and held a personal complaint with, in efforts to transition us out of keeping a victim mentality. […]
My dear Shayne, Today is your 40th birthday. Your day. The day you were born 40 years ago, and forever changed the trajectory and future of my life in so many ways… ways I still cannot feel or comprehend yet. Having little ladies with you certainly a HUGE one, and changed the landscape of the […]
gift giving
I was asked recently if sending a Christmas card to a grieving family who had recently lost a loved one was appropriate. Nothing wrong with asking me this question, I honor it. A whole lot. Anyone who is willing to ask me these types of questions is brave, mindful, and it shows a whole lot […]
the SOULSHINE project 