clearing

I felt like this needed to find its way out. No more shame, no guilt. I don’t go to therapy to bitch and complain. I go to therapy so that tiny voice in my head that has wanted me to give up, just give it all up already, and is so tired of the strife […]

31

I woke up from my slumber party for my 11th birthday, and playing with my new Sky Dancer doll, that Barbie-ish doll with the wings that flew up into the air when you pull the seahorse cord. I can remember distinctly I was in the space between my ears, for the first time in my […]

coming home

We pulled into our new apartment complex with the van packed full of goodies from IKEA and COSTCO, our 3 beating, eager hearts, and a whole lot of courage. That was it. That’s what landed in the inaugural babe cave just 14 months ago, night one. Just our beating hearts of courage, lots of good […]

meet me in toledo

I started working on this, writing this while sitting at the airport waiting to board my flight to Toledo, Ohio last weekend. My second trip to lovely Toledo in 6 months. Unfortunately sitting on a delay, but taking time to be grateful I even have this opportunity. My first trip to Toledo was in March […]

time to move on

We were definite opposites. I always used to poke fun at him about being a busy-body, never sitting down, always checking things off his list in his head. Shayne was so efficient. Always on a task. One task to the next. I don’t know if it was anxiety or just his love language, acts of service, […]

the first year

There are no words …and would require ALL the words… to describe, recount, express what I have experienced in the 365 days since Shayne died. I still hesitate when I type that. When I say it. He died. Still… HOW is that even possible and my reality? My God… my brain still trips over the […]

miles to go

I have anxiety. Its nearly always bubbling below the surface. I wake up with an anxious stomach and unless I am staying in the moment, its there waiting for me. I had no idea what “having anxiety” even was or felt like until around 7 months ago. When I was starting to come out of […]