This journey of my recent education, it feels bittersweet how I can’t truly unpack the depths for which it has transformed my life, my self, my self-awareness, my brain, my heart, my entire outlook on life/love/and the universe at large. I went from having a hodge podge of starts and stops in college, culinary school, […]
Tag: grief blog
relate
I have learned a lot about life and love and relating and my own self the last 2 years. I feel at times I have been catapulted face first into the personal growth and healing and learning of 10 years in just 2. Sure, its been a lot. And people with “a lot” just have […]
identity
When do you stop being a widow, …or can you? There have been many moments throughout this walk as Shayne’s widow I don’t have all the right words or phrases or even authenticity locked and loaded. I have struggled with finding the words for my emotions. The words don’t always match the weight of what […]
lift and carry
Its been 2.5 years ago today. I’m trying to focus on… not the day, but instead, what positive changes… growth… leaps… bigness I have stepped into since. The progress. Instead of focusing and rewinding myself right back to those moments 2.5 years ago…. What beauty have I created in the space he no longer occupies? […]
one
A terrible, toxic liar tried to hold me hostage. Until today. Day one. I don’t want to hide from this space. That wasn’t why I created it. I didn’t create it to back away when things were good bad or ugly. I never knew how ugly they could possibly get but I keep reminding myself… […]
recognizable
I haven’t felt like writing about my life so much as I have been (& wanting to) actively participate in living it. Other outlets for my creativity have become available. Or… maybe I am just avoiding sitting with myself and getting honest in this space. I’ve been busy creating in other ways. Therapy helps but […]
&
I really don’t know if I would even want to, I wouldn’t want to spoil any of this and really, wouldn’t have wanted any of this to happen any differently… but if I had to. If I had to tell my newly-widowed self one thing. One thing that might help turn a corner faster. Or, […]
clearing
I felt like this needed to find its way out. No more shame, no guilt. I don’t go to therapy to bitch and complain. I go to therapy so that tiny voice in my head that has wanted me to give up, just give it all up already, and is so tired of the strife […]
ambition
Has anyone ever questioned your ambition? Widows, has your process through this new life been judged? I know a lot of self-starters and entrepreneurs that get a lot of eye rolls over their life outside the box. And if I had a penny for every time I have heard “get a job” by now. Even […]
motherhood
Since becoming Shayne’s widow, motherhood during this two years has been an intense blessing, but also, in all honesty, felt at times like a curse. Why on earth would I consider motherhood to be anything but something extraordinarily wonderful, a gift, every day I wake up and still here to love these babes? Don’t get […]
the SOULSHINE project 