Its been 2.5 years ago today. I’m trying to focus on… not the day, but instead, what positive changes… growth… leaps… bigness I have stepped into since. The progress. Instead of focusing and rewinding myself right back to those moments 2.5 years ago…. What beauty have I created in the space he no longer occupies? […]
Tag: grief walk
recognizable
I haven’t felt like writing about my life so much as I have been (& wanting to) actively participate in living it. Other outlets for my creativity have become available. Or… maybe I am just avoiding sitting with myself and getting honest in this space. I’ve been busy creating in other ways. Therapy helps but […]
&
I really don’t know if I would even want to, I wouldn’t want to spoil any of this and really, wouldn’t have wanted any of this to happen any differently… but if I had to. If I had to tell my newly-widowed self one thing. One thing that might help turn a corner faster. Or, […]
gift giving
I was asked recently if sending a Christmas card to a grieving family who had recently lost a loved one was appropriate. Nothing wrong with asking me this question, I honor it. A whole lot. Anyone who is willing to ask me these types of questions is brave, mindful, and it shows a whole lot […]
sky full of stars
I can’t explain with full rationale why I have taken a hiatus here. This means so much to me, why do I push it away? Every time someone asks me if I’ve “written lately” and “well, why not?” I stumble through a half-ass explanation about being anxious and not wanting to share certain things out of […]
clean break
I was cleaning our babe cave all morning and over and over and over and OVER my brain is reminding me, “He would be doing this… and this… and cleaning that… or fixing that…” I do not get a break. I repeat: NO BREAKS. Especially not mental ones. And it angers me. I can’t scrub […]
mean to me
What I haven’t wanted to do was write… Which is precisely why, I must. I have spent the better part of the last few days feeling ANGRY. MAD. FRUSTRATED. And when I say better part.. I mean it. And anyone who endures this all-engrossing, tight-clenched grip of grief knows… you don’t exaggerate any of it. […]
gray-cious
I was thinking, it certainly feels like this week requires of me to end it the same as we began it… a deep breath and blind hope, gratitude and celebrating LIFE. His life. Our life. Just being here, still. Waking up. Holding these ladies. The breath in our lungs. And blowing out the damn candle(s). […]
what the hell
I’m sitting here at Starbucks, watching the baristas pace behind the counter, answer requests, open and close the sandwich oven, talk into their headsets… I keep closing my eyes, like “How is this where I am?” Now, I know what you might be thinking if you know me………. of course I’m at Starbucks, why am I wondering […]
thank you
Its been a long day, hell what am I even saying… they’ve all been long days of varying degrees. Time sometimes creeps by even slower, especially those particular hours between the time we get home from school til bedtime! We did find our toes in the sand tonight, and that’s always a chance to take […]
the SOULSHINE project 