This journey of my recent education, it feels bittersweet how I can’t truly unpack the depths for which it has transformed my life, my self, my self-awareness, my brain, my heart, my entire outlook on life/love/and the universe at large. I went from having a hodge podge of starts and stops in college, culinary school, […]
Tag: grief
seasons end
I’ll keep summer, though, thanks! I’m not particularly great at a stringent routine. I think its because I lack practice?, my roots have been uprooted for the better part of a decade and my transient life has required I not get too comfortable in one setting. School ended for me a week ago, started for […]
identity
When do you stop being a widow, …or can you? There have been many moments throughout this walk as Shayne’s widow I don’t have all the right words or phrases or even authenticity locked and loaded. I have struggled with finding the words for my emotions. The words don’t always match the weight of what […]
lift and carry
Its been 2.5 years ago today. I’m trying to focus on… not the day, but instead, what positive changes… growth… leaps… bigness I have stepped into since. The progress. Instead of focusing and rewinding myself right back to those moments 2.5 years ago…. What beauty have I created in the space he no longer occupies? […]
one
A terrible, toxic liar tried to hold me hostage. Until today. Day one. I don’t want to hide from this space. That wasn’t why I created it. I didn’t create it to back away when things were good bad or ugly. I never knew how ugly they could possibly get but I keep reminding myself… […]
recognizable
I haven’t felt like writing about my life so much as I have been (& wanting to) actively participate in living it. Other outlets for my creativity have become available. Or… maybe I am just avoiding sitting with myself and getting honest in this space. I’ve been busy creating in other ways. Therapy helps but […]
ambition
Has anyone ever questioned your ambition? Widows, has your process through this new life been judged? I know a lot of self-starters and entrepreneurs that get a lot of eye rolls over their life outside the box. And if I had a penny for every time I have heard “get a job” by now. Even […]
motherhood
Since becoming Shayne’s widow, motherhood during this two years has been an intense blessing, but also, in all honesty, felt at times like a curse. Why on earth would I consider motherhood to be anything but something extraordinarily wonderful, a gift, every day I wake up and still here to love these babes? Don’t get […]
permission
Do you recognize when you’re in a “season”? When you’re in either the ebb or the flow of things? Lately, I’m thinkin’ this has definitely been a season of surrender. Surrender and permission. I don’t know, I think thats what widows have to do. On our own timelines, surrender to reality, and give ourselves permission […]
love letter
I recently had the opportunity to participate in a Life Empowerment Workshop, led by the inspiring and steady as a beating drum Sid McNairy. It was suggested we write a love letter to a person who we defined and held a personal complaint with, in efforts to transition us out of keeping a victim mentality. […]
the SOULSHINE project 