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I really don’t know if I would even want to, I wouldn’t want to spoil any of this and really, wouldn’t have wanted any of this to happen any differently… but if I had to. If I had to tell my newly-widowed self one thing. One thing that might help turn a corner faster. Or, […]

happy every year

If I had been looking into a crystal ball at this moment one year ago at what would have transpired for us in 2017… I know, with certainty, I would not have been able to comprehend it. At this very juncture 365 days ago, I was back home at the beach, after having been welcomed […]

gift giving

I was asked recently if sending a Christmas card to a grieving family who had recently lost a loved one was appropriate. Nothing wrong with asking me this question, I honor it. A whole lot. Anyone who is willing to ask me these types of questions is brave, mindful, and it shows a whole lot […]

love in photographs

This is the progression. The journey in photos of our time here at the beach thus far. That first photo was taken by Melissa right after we moved here last year. It was July 16th… 3 months to the day since Shayne died. I woke up griefy. Almost cancelled on them because I felt like […]

missing person

This isn’t something I could have anticipated. I miss him. A lot. A lot, a lot. Like stuffing it down, swallowing it hole, a lot. Feels like now, more than ever, I’m craving his presence, guidance, and friendship. Awake at night a lot. Closing my eyes, swallowing tears, catching my breath alone, a lot. Feeling […]

soulrise

I keep thinking of what my friend asked me weeks ago and which I wrote about… she asked me if I have allowed myself to still dream. I laid between my girls as they napped, while making me feel like I was steaming in a sauna, and it seems to always be in these unpretentious […]

sky full of stars

I can’t explain with full rationale why I have taken a hiatus here. This means so much to me, why do I push it away? Every time someone asks me if I’ve “written lately” and “well, why not?” I stumble through a half-ass explanation about being anxious and not wanting to share certain things out of […]