love in photographs

This is the progression. The journey in photos of our time here at the beach thus far. That first photo was taken by Melissa right after we moved here last year. It was July 16th… 3 months to the day since Shayne died. I woke up griefy. Almost cancelled on them because I felt like […]

sky full of stars

I can’t explain with full rationale why I have taken a hiatus here. This means so much to me, why do I push it away? Every time someone asks me if I’ve “written lately” and “well, why not?” I stumble through a half-ass explanation about being anxious and not wanting to share certain things out of […]

clean break

I was cleaning our babe cave all morning and over and over and over and OVER my brain is reminding me, “He would be doing this… and this… and cleaning that… or fixing that…” I do not get a break. I repeat: NO BREAKS. Especially not mental ones. And it angers me. I can’t scrub […]

mean to me

What I haven’t wanted to do was write… Which is precisely why, I must. I have spent the better part of the last few days feeling ANGRY. MAD. FRUSTRATED. And when I say better part.. I mean it. And anyone who endures this all-engrossing, tight-clenched grip of grief knows… you don’t exaggerate any of it. […]

gray-cious

I was thinking, it certainly feels like this week requires of me to end it the same as we began it… a deep breath and blind hope, gratitude and celebrating LIFE. His life. Our life. Just being here, still. Waking up. Holding these ladies. The breath in our lungs. And blowing out the damn candle(s). […]

what the hell

I’m sitting here at Starbucks, watching the baristas pace behind the counter, answer requests, open and close the sandwich oven, talk into their headsets… I keep closing my eyes, like “How is this where I am?” Now, I know what you might be thinking if you know me………. of course I’m at Starbucks, why am I wondering […]

thank you

Its been a long day, hell what am I even saying… they’ve all been long days of varying degrees. Time sometimes creeps by even slower, especially those particular hours between the time we get home from school til bedtime! We did find our toes in the sand tonight, and that’s always a chance to take […]